I was not and I am

WHY NOT

Firstly my name’s Riska, one of the students at Alauddin State Islamic University of Makassar. I want to tell you a bit about my journey until now which is  I can stand in front of you. Actually, I don’t know where i have to begin, during Senior High School i never  think to register in UINAM. My teachers, my friends and my mom were so confident in my ability to graduate at PTN.

I come from a simple family, my mother is a private company employee and I have no father. I am a single daughter. So, I am the only hope of my mother. Ihave high spirit to continue my study. My mother wanted so much that I could study at PTK (Higher Education Institution) that is PKN STAN. The desire of parents with my desires is directly proportional. My mother was really supportive me, she drove me to follow try out PKN STAN every week.  Beside that, she allowed me to joining participate tutoring PKN STAN. I was  so optimistic because I had tried. At the time I wanted to be tax officer.  

Besides I prepare for USM I also focus on the UN. Well, that's when my mind is divided. I focused both UN and USM, I never thought for taking SBMPTN test. Why ?, I am not a snob, I am an outstanding student in my school. I am so optimistic to pass SNMPTN. However, I hesitate to choose the study program. I went to my mentor teacher, my senior and my mother of course  as my motivator for their opinion. I was the last one to choose a major register SNMPTN. My friend said that you have a lot of willness. I said that I am an ordinary human being who is only able to plan and I have to think about not choosing wrong. After the registration SNMPTN completed I feel free, I mean that  I can make a choice. optimistic for sure but still feeling anxious.

I really hope to pass SNMPTN for the reason it is cheap. I heard about the registration for PTKIN SPANPTKIN. I did not know what it was, so I asked the senior it turned out to be a religious college invitation pathway where the UIN included I ignored it. However, I think I should not rely on one course I must be smart to see opportunities and hints. well I registed  PTKIN by choosing two Universities namely UINAM and STAIN. I choose the PBI ( English Education Departement) and PMTK (Mathematic Education) program, which means that the output is a teacher. I am just so so, I think wherever I pass that is my sustenance. However, my deepest heart still choose the beginning of USM PKN STAN.

Without further one by one came the announcement of graduation. Disappointing results, I failed at SNMPTN. Confused? NO, I'm not at all upset. Why? because I do not just rely on one street but I have an alternative way. Do I stop learning after USM? No, my intention was not booking SBMPTN I finally checked in as well. I was  still choosing the same program in SNMPTN the term was difficult to move on. My friends encourage me that my sustenance is in STAN. I replied aamiin.

A week later, announcement SPAN PTKIN. I was so optimistic that I graduated. As a result, I successfully entered in UINAM with PBI study program. Waw I felt so happy and safe at least there is a university that I must enter. My mother also felt happy to pass the test without passing the test-free test. However, I think the warrior is the one who fought on the battlefield. Re-registration UINAM was still a long time, so I was waiting for the announcement of PKN STAN. I was incessant to pray to the power. The announcement I had been waiting for finally arrived. Whatever the results I have to accept, pass or not I've tried. I opened the announcement after Subuh, my name is difficult to find. That means I FAIL to enter on my dream campus from junior high school. CONFUSED? CERTAINLY. Until now I still feel a failure, and of course I have to rise in the sense of fighting back to graduate in PKN STAN.

But, am i not receiving lecture here? No. I'm happy, I find new friends, new faculty, and new families on this campus. I think English is my skill.

I think that yesterday is as a lesson for me to be more active again, focus in reaching a dream to realize become true. The process never betrayed the results, the sentences that motivated me. My failure yesterday because business that has not been maximal may still be minimal. My plans are of course learning, and not entering the organization. In the first semester I tried to adapt to know the world of college. I try to not fail in things that I want to achieve, go, and dream. No matter how small I have to do it to the maximum so I can get used to. Starting from something small creeps into something big.